Category Archives: Church

Anchored in Unitarian Universalism

Posted on March 18, 2011 | 6 Comments

When I was twenty-two years old, I tried to convert.

I was raised Unitarian Universalist.  Daughter and granddaughter of Unitarian Universalists, child of active church board members and a student at the local Montessori school, I was steeped in UU values and beliefs.  And like many people, I wanted to experiment – I wanted to engage with a different faith than that I’d known my whole life.

I had studied religion in college, and was fascinated by the way that people’s religious beliefs influenced their lives and their decisions.  I wanted to see what else was out there – perhaps a religion that could offer me more guidance, something that could give me the concrete answers on cosmological questions that Unitarian Universalism never had.

So I began to attend other churches, and even a synagogue.  I visited the Episcopalians, the Reform Jews and the UCC’s.  I shared coffee with Baptists and sang with the Methodists.  I was inspired by many of their stories and loved that they said the same thing every week.  As I dabbled, however (and really enjoyed the Baptists, I’ll be honest!), I found I was running into a significant hitch.  I didn’t believe what these churches were saying.

They said they had the answer.  Most of them repeated the Nicaean Creed, and they relied on the Bible and the Torah for guidance.  But when it came right down to it, it didn’t seem to me that they didn’t know any more about the meaning of the cosmos than my Unitarian Universalist communities. They had beliefs and hopes, but they didn’t have the answers in their theology.  Not answers I could believe.

So I came home.  I returned back to the wrestle-with-the-questions community I had been raised in and started to look again for answers.  For guidance on how to make the best decisions I could.  For a community that could sustain me as I faced living in a world that isn’t always pretty, but sometimes more beautiful than I can believe.  And here in this church, I found something that was amazing – I found Unitarian Universalist theology.  And with that, I found an anchor that helped me understand the questions; an anchor that helped – and helps! – me live my life.

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Posted in Church, Spiritual life, Theology, Unitarian Universalism

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Time’s a-tickin’

Posted on February 24, 2011 | Leave a comment

Somehow, the last two weeks have gotten away from me.  My “smart” cell phone blew up (in the software sense, not an actual explosion…..though it felt that way), family came to visit and I had a birthday.  We held our second gathering of the first Small Group at Norton Unitarian Church last night, our second Small Group is almost full and will likely start meeting in a week or two.  I’m now speaking to people about joining the churches third Small Group, interviewing childcare providers (because children are not puppies) and putting final touches on the website mock-up.

Suddenly, there is momentum beyond me in the church!

It is so wonderful to talk to so many people interested and excited about the church I’m hoping Norton Unitarian will become.  I’ll be honest – I’m not trying to build something that looks like our “traditional” Unitarian Universalist church.  I want to be part of a religious community that speaks to a different need – a need that doesn’t seem to be being met by many of our current options.  A need that is about connection and vibrancy and faith.

By throwing the doors open to the church and presenting new ideas, new cultures are starting to emerge.  We are at the very beginning yet…..the very beginning….but the goal of the church is to be a place of meaning and joy. A place where we don’t have to always worry about what has been, but where we can look at where we are today and say “What works?  What makes sense?  What do we want in our lives?  What makes us grow spiritually and become better people in the world?”

This church is about faith today.

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Posted in Church, Church Administration, First Unitarian of Norton, Ministry

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Dispensable Children

Posted on February 9, 2011 | Leave a comment

When we brought home our puppy Kayla, some five years ago,  a lot of people talked to us about how having her was going to be just like having a new baby.  “It’s so much work” they said earnestly, “You have to watch her and be there for her and take her outside all the time to go to the bathroom.”  I still remember the potty-training process for Kayla, mostly because we bought her in December and there was a lot of time spent in the snow and ice.   But here’s the thing, my friends.

YOU CAN’T PUT KIDS IN A KENNEL.

A darling doggie waiting happily for their owner to come home

There are a lot of differences between Kayla and my kids (to state the enormously obvious).  But one of the most important ones to know as a parent – be it for a puppy or child – is that you can leave dogs home alone and you CAN’T DO THAT WITH KIDS.  Once kids are born, they need pretty much 24/7  supervision for at least the first ten years of their lives.  There is the time when they are sleeping that you’re available (in your home) and most of us have at least some kind of support structure to help us watch our kids, be that daycare, friends or relatives. But they are yours…..your responsibility, your joy and your headache.  And at no time are you free to blithely plan your day, week or life without thinking of them.

I feel like we all know this on an intellectual level, but somehow that doesn’t translate into the reality of daily life.  I have experienced so many stories lately, from my friends and in my own life, where we are asked to simply tuck the realities of our children away.  One friend recently told me a story about being asked to serve on a committee at her church.  My friend explained to the woman asking her that she had children (ages 2 and 5), and that though she would be happy to serve, finding childcare in their small town was sometimes challenging.  The church woman said “I’m sure they would be fine of you just put them somewhere while you are here.”  My friend said to me later “It was clear that she was trying to be helpful.  And I appreciated that.  But where would I just “put” them in the church?  It’s not like I can just stick them in a room and tell them to stay there until I’m done with a meeting.  And even if I could – if they could handle it – why would I want to do that?”

Kids aren’t puppies.  And we can’t leave them home when we go to the grocery store, dinner or church.  Their needs don’t go away because the parents want to be part of something.  If we want to live as an integrated society – or as integrated churches – we need to meet the needs of both the parents and children.

Not a picture of my kids.....but aren't they cute?

I get at least two referrals on all people who watch my kids.  I’m a freak about making sure my kids are safe and well cared for, and that the time they spend with anyone is quality – that they are learning and growing and being cared for physically, mentally and emotionally.  It’s a lot, but really……how can we do anything less?

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Posted in Church, Community, Family, Kids

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So How Do You Re-start a Church?

Posted on February 2, 2011 | Leave a comment

I get this question a lot.

It would be great if there was a one-sentence answer.

There isn’t.

I’m not sure I know how to re-start a church.  But I do know how to listen.  And that’s been the most important part of what I’ve been doing for the past several months.  I’ve been meeting with enormous numbers of people, and I’ve been listening to what they want and need.  I’ve been listening to why they don’t go to church, in what ways they feel disconnected, and what they are looking for in a spiritual community.   I’ve been meeting people where they are, in their coffee shops and homes and offices.

I’ve also been listening to myself.  At the beginning of this process, I put one bottom line in place, which is written on a post-it note and stuck right next to my computer screen.  It says:

“The purpose of this church is to help people grow spiritually and to make the world a better place.”  This isn’t a congregational mission statement or faith statement or any other kind of institutional reflection.  It’s just my bottom line.  It is why I’m doing this, why I get up every morning and work on building a congregation….to fill a building standing ready, waiting to be filled with mission and vision and purpose.

From listening to people, I’ve found that I’m not the only person who is looking for a church that helps me grow spiritually and makes the world a better place.  There’s a lot of us out there, looking for something deeper to connect to.  We are thinking about death and happiness and forgiveness, and want to participate in the world in a more active way than voting on American Idol.

And as we all come together, something magic is starting to happen. Something that is precious and extraordinary and simple and common.

We are building a church.

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Posted in Church, Community, First Unitarian of Norton, Ministry, Spiritual life

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What are we looking for?

Posted on January 14, 2011 | 8 Comments

It is a pretty commonly accepted fact that not a lot of Americans today attend church.  Most data suggests that between 40 percent and 50 percent of people in Generations X and Y did not grow up attending any kind of church at all.

Those who were born after 1970 (X and Y are generally defined as people born between 1965 and 1990) had Baby Boomer parents who lived through the tumult of the 1960s, saw JFK and Martin Luther King, Jr., shot, and were involved in the Vietnam War in one way or another.

Many Boomer parents did not send their kids to church because they themselves were breaking out of the norms of the day.  And how much more “normative” do you get than going to church?  Even those who did send their kids to church or who attended as a family often did so in a very relaxed fashion.  There were the “Christmas and Easter” families, of course, but also the families who went to church only when their kids were little or, in the Catholic faith, until their youngest child “made First Communion.”

As a result of all this, and other factors, many churches today are dying.  People don’t go because they never have.  They may visit a few times, but don’t find it relevant.  They sing songs they don’t know, recite prayers they have never heard and get asked to be on committees.  Sometimes they stay.  More often, they leave.

Yet the fundamental religious need has not changed.  The desire to have a life full of meaning and purpose is alive in all of us.  The questions about faith and God and death go through all of our minds.

So what are we looking for from churches?  My theory is that we are looking for a place to share our experiences and ask questions.  We don’t want a place that tells us what to do, but we do want guidance.  We want to enjoy our time, because life’s too short to do something that is more “work,” and we could always be playing Farmville.  We want to laugh, do something meaningful, and know that we are not alone.

What do you think?

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Posted in Church, First Unitarian of Norton, Ministry, Spiritual life

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