It’s a good question.  Churches have been around for so long, one might think that they have always been here and will always be.  As those of us in the business know all too well, however, churches (and any religious institutions) do not have guaranteed financial survival.  I explained to this young woman that churches run off of charitable donations, otherwise known as pledging, from people who are part of our community.  She remained confused and asked “Is that what people put in the basket on Sunday mornings?  That’s where all the money comes from?”

I couldn’t help but smile at that point.  It would be so awesome if we collected enough on Sunday mornings to support all the work and ministry of the church.  How simple that would make life!  But the reality is that the Sunday morning offering is just a small section of our budget, and that the majority of our funding comes from our members, friends and other members of the community through pledging.  I explained to her that each year, churches hold what is called a “pledge drive,” where we ask everyone who is part of our community to commit to giving a portion of their income to the church for the next year.  From the pledge cards, we are able to know how much money to expect in donations for the year to come, and create the annual budget based on what people have volunteered to donate.

It was a timely conversation for me to have, since this Sunday is the kickoff to our pledge campaign at First Parish for the 2012-2013 church year.  I’m really excited about this year’s pledge campaign, mostly because there is such energy and capacity in the church!  I’m also excited, though, because we have been given a wonderful challenge and gift this year from an anonymous donor who has agreed to match all of the funds we raise, dollar for dollar, during this year’s pledge campaign.  This means that all of the donations made this year will literally be doubled!  It is a tremendous opportunity, and I am confident that our community will rise to the occasion.

As I explained all of this to our guests earlier this week, their eyes grew wide.  ”You mean, a church has to run things like a business?”  one of them questioned in disbelief.  ”You have to have income and expenses and salaries and everything?”  I nodded.  Surprisingly, she smiled.  ”That’s so cool.  So this church really is about being for the people and by the people – a real community.”

The woman on the other end of the phone did not share my excitement.  ”But you’ve been on our LIST” she said flatly.  ”I’m sorry you don’t want to be any more.  Even if you are Unitarian Universalist now, you might change your mind.”

I felt there was some kind of miscommunication going on between us.  I explained as clearly as I could that I was highly unlikely to convert to being a Baptist any time soon, since I was a minister in another faith, and that though I had a great deal of respect for the Rhode Island Baptist Women’s Group, I was emphatically not one of them and never would “come back.”  Particularly since I was never there in the first place.

This all got me thinking about what it means to be a member of something.  Some of my memberships I take very seriously – the membership to my college alum association (I love my college), for example, and my membership to the UU Minister’s Association.  Others mean less to me….like apparently my membership to the Rhode Island Baptist Women’s Group.

I think for membership to be relevant, three things have to be present in the relationship:

1). You have to care about the organization you are member of and contribute to it through time, money, skills etc.

2). The organization has to care about you and value you as a stakeholder, even if they do things you don’t always agree with.  You have to be valued.

3). The organization has to be relevant to your life and meaningful to you.  Otherwise, the membership is pointless.

How do we keep our memberships reflecting who we are in living into our best selves?  And what do we as churches do with our “members?”  What does that word mean in the context of a church whose goal it is to help people become their best selves and live their spiritual lives to the fullest?

Our beautiful church. We don't fill the sanctuary yet, but we will!

Today I led my second service at First Parish Church in Taunton as their minister.    It’s almost shocking to me how comfortable and at home I feel at First Parish, and how the pieces of our ministry are coming together in ways that I could never have imagined.

Easter can be  tricky holiday for Unitarian Universalists.  Since we don’t generally believe that Jesus died for our sins, and was resurrected for us to be saved, there sometimes is a bit of “what’s this all about?” the comes together on Easter morning for me.  But this year, the message of re-birth that is a part of all of us feels so true to me – so tangibly real – that I believe I have come to a new understanding on what Easter really is all about.  It is truly about the re-birth of all of us, about the chance for all of us to acknowledge that we have made mistakes in our lives, and that we can start over, just as we do every year in the springtime. We all have the chance to be reborn – as friends, as parents, as brothers and sisters, and as spiritual beings.   This Easter Sunday was a day of re-birth, and it was glorious.

And for those of you who could not join us this morning, a little taste of our music this week……….have a listen!  Nothing like five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes to help keep things in perspective.

It is a wondrous time.

Then……

I received a letter at my home a few weeks ago.  It was from an attorney who the Parish Committee of Norton had hired, and it notified me that when my contract with the church expired on May 1, they would not be renewing it.  Further, it appears as though the Parish Committee has decided not to formally meet and therefore allow any of the new people to become actual members of the church.

When I first received the letter, all I could think of was “this must not be over.  We are onto something here, and something beautiful is happening in this community. It simply can’t be over!”  For a short period of time, my vocational path was clouded, and with it, the future of the spiritual community we have been building.  I had felt so sure, you see, that this church, at this location in Norton, was the way to bring about a version of vibrant, transformative, Unitarian Universalist faith.  But as I started to talk to people – people who have been part of the Norton community and the Unitarian Universalist community, and the people who are interested in what we have been doing in Norton – a path opened that I never would have expected a few weeks ago.

Yesterday, I signed a contract to become the full time minister at the First Parish Unitarian Church in Taunton.  First Parish Taunton is a small congregation just seven miles away from Norton Unitarian.  The Taunton church has been following the Norton re-start with interest, and even spoke to one of our denominational officials last fall about possibly doing a similar program in Taunton.  They were in search for a minister who could help them grow their congregation, and who was tuned into how to reach those who are “spiritual but not religious.”  They are delighted to welcome in our members from Norton, and to continue to grow the church into a welcoming, spiritually based community for the twenty first century!

When I first began the conversations with First Parish Church in Taunton, I was excited about the idea that our church re-start would not die. As I have continued to speak to their governing board and learn about their community, I have become truly convinced that moving our congregation to Taunton is the calling of our church community. Not only are the people in Taunton excited and welcoming, they have a large, up-to-date building, including all kinds of fancy assets that we don’t have in Norton, such as a telephone, and more than one toilet. They have several rooms for their children that have doors on them, rather than an outside door leading straight into a parking lot, and they even have computers!

They also have some staff, which means that I would be able to do two things – stop taking out the garbage myself, and allow me more time to take the next step in our ministry. You see, the goal for us before starting weekly worship in Norton was to reach a critical mass. I’m delighted to say that with addition of the people from the Taunton congregation, we have met that goal, will be able to begin having weekly worship when I start my ministry there on April 1.

It is the sort of story that you can’t possibly imagine, and yet when it does, it seems like it was all meant to be.  I’m so excited for this move – for the new opportunities for growth and creation, and for all that this congregation can become!

I went to church.

More than that, I led worship at the First Unitarian Church of Norton – the first public worship we have had since the re-start began.  It was an amazing experience – not just to be leading worship again, but to see this community literally grow and begin to take shape on a beautiful Christmas Eve.

Several people have asked “How many were there?  Were there more than ten? ”  There were in fact, more than ten…..our final head count came in at seventy-eight.  It was a fun group of people – a warm and welcoming group, which I believe will continue to grow because of our warmth and welcoming.  People were so happy to be there!

It was an amazing thing, to be leading worship for a congregation that has such a history and yet is so entirely new.  We learned some important things about our historic building – for example, that the current electrical circuits cannot carry both lights and a coffee pot simultaneously on the same breaker – and that the church decorates beautifully for Christmas.  We also learned that the creation of community is magical.

Our next worship will be January 29.  We will be having monthly services for January and February, and see where we are in March in terms of our goals and needs for our growing community.

Someone said to me several months ago “This re-start is just a giant experiment, you know.  But so are all churches, and communities, and societies of people.  So just enjoy the science of it all.”

I have to tell you, this is the most fun experiment I have ever been part of!

People keep telling us to “savor the moments” with our children while they are little, because “sooner than you know it, they will be all grown up!”  I know they are right, and I try to enjoy every moment of my time with my kids, even when they are less than ideal (picture the grocery store, two tired children and a bag of candy they are not allowed to have).  Deliah is already growing into a bright, determined little person, so different from the sleeping infant we brought home a little over two years ago.  We laughed last night as we saw flashes of her now-clear personality in those early movies and shots.

There is something magical about watching a child develop.  As they grow, we grow and change with them.  Our family has changed over the last two years. Eric and I – even Bryson –  are truly different people then we would have been if Deliah had not come into our lives.  We all impact each other in ways we don’t even realize.

For my daughter…..one of my favorite songs.  We love you, Deliah!

I spend a reasonable amount of time in the car, and don’t get a newspaper at home, since we discovered that a newspaper’s primary  purpose in our house was to create a massive amount of paper mess.  I like knowing what is going on in the world, but following every story is just not one of my top priorities.

However, there is something happening in the world that has caught my eye.  Something that actually merited a Google search all of its own, so that I could find out more about it.  It’s this thing that’s being called “Occupy Wall Street.”

The ideals behind is still seem to be vague, and I’m not quite sure what sure what their goals are.  But I’m interested in what is happening in New York – and now also Chicago, Los Angeles, Seattle and Boston.  What I’m most intrigued by is the ACTION of it all.  I’m part of Generation X – a child of Baby Boomers, and one who grew up in the shadow of the sixties revolution.  We heard about protests growing up but let’s be honest – despite all the rotten things that have happened in the last several years, the “younger generation” has not really participated or enacted any kind of fantastic social change.  Here we have people coming together and taking action.  They are DOING something about their anger, about their desires, about what they want the world to become.

I don’t know what will come out of all of this, but I’m glad to see people – real, live people, of my generation and others, taking part in something that matters to them!

We have the capacity to grow big.

As of today, Norton Unitarian Church has forty-four people who are interested in being part of our congregation in one way or another.  Fall is an exciting time for the church, as we kick off new Small Groups, our monthly TED Talks Dinners, Family Night and our Mindfulness Workshops.  People are excited and energized about our community, and some are asking me: “When do we start Sunday worship?  Isn’t this enough people?  What is that Magic Number?”

I’m very lucky in that I have a new church start coach who is able to advise me on such matters.  I was able to be clear with my coach that I want this church to grow big.  Not 50 people big, but 200, 300, 500 people big.  Big to be sustainable. Big to grow the faith.  Big to grow peoples’ faith, and big to create a vibrant, living community.

That Magic Number?  We talked about it.  We also talked about the dangers of beginning services too early (“premature launch”) and what a solid, lively foundation for this church will look like.  Every church has a different Magic Number, but at Norton Unitarian Church, ours is eighty to one hundred people.

I can hear the scoffs now.  ”Crazy!”  Eighty to one hundred people to START?  Yes my friends, to START!  There are many reasons for this particular Magic Number in this context, but the most primary one is this: when you start with a smaller community, it’s easier for that community to stay small.  When you start with a bigger community, it’s easier for that community to grow big!

This isn't quite the layout of our church....but you get the idea!

While I understand her reasoning,  I don’t agree.   On the one hand, she’s right – it is hard to know everyone when you have more than 100 people – but I don’t think that knowing everyone is the goal of a community.  I know the names of a lot of the people in my neighborhood, but I would not say we have a community.   A community to me is about being part of something bigger than yourself.  About choosing to engage with others, to give and to receive.  A community is a living organism, and it lives beyond people knowing each other.  A strong community breathes its own life.

How many is an an “ideal” church size?  Good question.  My home church was 400 people when I was born – by the time I graduated from high school, we were at 900.  There are a lot of systems theories and research out there indicating that any church over 100 people will likely continue to grow larger, with the continued efforts of the staff and members.  Under 100, because “everyone DOES know your name,” a church is more likely to become an insular community and stagnate in growth.  This is not a hard-and-fast rule, of course, but a likely outcome based on research.

What does this mean for the Unitarian Church of Norton?  Stay tuned!

Unsurprisingly, the kids got tired of squatting in the strawberry rows before Eric and I felt we had enough strawberries to fill our freezer and jam jars.  I volunteered to go exploring with them while Eric continued to pick.  It was early in the season, so there was not too much to look at yet…..the plants were barely popping up in the fields, and none of the animals were out.  We wandered around for a with Bryson (our four year old) and I identifying different types and colors of flowers while trying to keep Deliah (our twenty month old) from decapitating every plant within her reach.

After several minutes of poking about and the near-death experience of a beautiful parsley plant, we found ourselves on the edge of the strawberry patch next to the irrigation system.  The sprinklers had been on that morning, and the water had made pool in the dirt road.  The kids started playing in the muddy water, delighting the the patterns the created in the puddles and the feel of the mud between their fingers.  Given they were in their oldest clothes and we were heading straight home after our strawberry picking, I didn’t really care if they got dirty while we waiting for Eric to finish up.

The kids started to dip their feet into the water, and soon both were up to their calves in the mud.  They thought it was great!  They waded into the puddle, running from one side to the other, dragging sticks along the bottom of the puddle and chasing each other in tiny circles.  After they had been at it a few minutes, and were rapidly becoming totally soaked, an elderly man stopped by on his way in to pay for the strawberries.  ”Those yours?” he asked, gesturing to the kids.  I nodded, smiling, ready for a rebuke on how irresponsible I was for letting them get dirty.  He paused for a minute, watching them, and then said quietly “Thank you.  That’s the most beautiful thing I’ve seen all year.”  A few minutes later a woman hurried by, also on her way in to pay.  She stopped short when she saw the kids and started to laugh.  She turned to me and said “Are you their mother?”  I nodded again, not sure what was to come.  ”You are such a great mom!  I want to be that good of a mom.”

Over the next ten minutes, five more people approached me -apparently all unrelated! –  asked me if Bryson and Deliah were my kids and then gave me some kind of compliment on my parenting.  One of them even thanked me for “sharing this beautiful scene.”

Because I let my kids RUN IN THE MUD.

I don’t think I’ve ever gotten that many compliments on my parenting in my LIFE, let alone all in the space of twenty minutes.

I’m really fascinated by this experience, and by the reaction it seemed to bring about in total strangers.   Was it my willingness to let them get really, really dirty that made me such a “great mom” for those twenty minutes?  Was is the fact that it was a sunny day on a country farm and no one was talking on a cell phone?  Are kids just tremendously compelling when laughing and splashing in the mud?

Not my kids.....but the "kids cute in mud" theory seems to hold true!

What do you think?