I went to church.

More than that, I led worship at the First Unitarian Church of Norton – the first public worship we have had since the re-start began.  It was an amazing experience – not just to be leading worship again, but to see this community literally grow and begin to take shape on a beautiful Christmas Eve.

Several people have asked “How many were there?  Were there more than ten? ”  There were in fact, more than ten…..our final head count came in at seventy-eight.  It was a fun group of people – a warm and welcoming group, which I believe will continue to grow because of our warmth and welcoming.  People were so happy to be there!

It was an amazing thing, to be leading worship for a congregation that has such a history and yet is so entirely new.  We learned some important things about our historic building – for example, that the current electrical circuits cannot carry both lights and a coffee pot simultaneously on the same breaker – and that the church decorates beautifully for Christmas.  We also learned that the creation of community is magical.

Our next worship will be January 29.  We will be having monthly services for January and February, and see where we are in March in terms of our goals and needs for our growing community.

Someone said to me several months ago “This re-start is just a giant experiment, you know.  But so are all churches, and communities, and societies of people.  So just enjoy the science of it all.”

I have to tell you, this is the most fun experiment I have ever been part of!

People keep telling us to “savor the moments” with our children while they are little, because “sooner than you know it, they will be all grown up!”  I know they are right, and I try to enjoy every moment of my time with my kids, even when they are less than ideal (picture the grocery store, two tired children and a bag of candy they are not allowed to have).  Deliah is already growing into a bright, determined little person, so different from the sleeping infant we brought home a little over two years ago.  We laughed last night as we saw flashes of her now-clear personality in those early movies and shots.

There is something magical about watching a child develop.  As they grow, we grow and change with them.  Our family has changed over the last two years. Eric and I – even Bryson –  are truly different people then we would have been if Deliah had not come into our lives.  We all impact each other in ways we don’t even realize.

For my daughter…..one of my favorite songs.  We love you, Deliah!

I spend a reasonable amount of time in the car, and don’t get a newspaper at home, since we discovered that a newspaper’s primary  purpose in our house was to create a massive amount of paper mess.  I like knowing what is going on in the world, but following every story is just not one of my top priorities.

However, there is something happening in the world that has caught my eye.  Something that actually merited a Google search all of its own, so that I could find out more about it.  It’s this thing that’s being called “Occupy Wall Street.”

The ideals behind is still seem to be vague, and I’m not quite sure what sure what their goals are.  But I’m interested in what is happening in New York – and now also Chicago, Los Angeles, Seattle and Boston.  What I’m most intrigued by is the ACTION of it all.  I’m part of Generation X – a child of Baby Boomers, and one who grew up in the shadow of the sixties revolution.  We heard about protests growing up but let’s be honest – despite all the rotten things that have happened in the last several years, the “younger generation” has not really participated or enacted any kind of fantastic social change.  Here we have people coming together and taking action.  They are DOING something about their anger, about their desires, about what they want the world to become.

I don’t know what will come out of all of this, but I’m glad to see people – real, live people, of my generation and others, taking part in something that matters to them!

We have the capacity to grow big.

As of today, Norton Unitarian Church has forty-four people who are interested in being part of our congregation in one way or another.  Fall is an exciting time for the church, as we kick off new Small Groups, our monthly TED Talks Dinners, Family Night and our Mindfulness Workshops.  People are excited and energized about our community, and some are asking me: “When do we start Sunday worship?  Isn’t this enough people?  What is that Magic Number?”

I’m very lucky in that I have a new church start coach who is able to advise me on such matters.  I was able to be clear with my coach that I want this church to grow big.  Not 50 people big, but 200, 300, 500 people big.  Big to be sustainable. Big to grow the faith.  Big to grow peoples’ faith, and big to create a vibrant, living community.

That Magic Number?  We talked about it.  We also talked about the dangers of beginning services too early (“premature launch”) and what a solid, lively foundation for this church will look like.  Every church has a different Magic Number, but at Norton Unitarian Church, ours is eighty to one hundred people.

I can hear the scoffs now.  ”Crazy!”  Eighty to one hundred people to START?  Yes my friends, to START!  There are many reasons for this particular Magic Number in this context, but the most primary one is this: when you start with a smaller community, it’s easier for that community to stay small.  When you start with a bigger community, it’s easier for that community to grow big!

This isn't quite the layout of our church....but you get the idea!

While I understand her reasoning,  I don’t agree.   On the one hand, she’s right – it is hard to know everyone when you have more than 100 people – but I don’t think that knowing everyone is the goal of a community.  I know the names of a lot of the people in my neighborhood, but I would not say we have a community.   A community to me is about being part of something bigger than yourself.  About choosing to engage with others, to give and to receive.  A community is a living organism, and it lives beyond people knowing each other.  A strong community breathes its own life.

How many is an an “ideal” church size?  Good question.  My home church was 400 people when I was born – by the time I graduated from high school, we were at 900.  There are a lot of systems theories and research out there indicating that any church over 100 people will likely continue to grow larger, with the continued efforts of the staff and members.  Under 100, because “everyone DOES know your name,” a church is more likely to become an insular community and stagnate in growth.  This is not a hard-and-fast rule, of course, but a likely outcome based on research.

What does this mean for the Unitarian Church of Norton?  Stay tuned!

Unsurprisingly, the kids got tired of squatting in the strawberry rows before Eric and I felt we had enough strawberries to fill our freezer and jam jars.  I volunteered to go exploring with them while Eric continued to pick.  It was early in the season, so there was not too much to look at yet…..the plants were barely popping up in the fields, and none of the animals were out.  We wandered around for a with Bryson (our four year old) and I identifying different types and colors of flowers while trying to keep Deliah (our twenty month old) from decapitating every plant within her reach.

After several minutes of poking about and the near-death experience of a beautiful parsley plant, we found ourselves on the edge of the strawberry patch next to the irrigation system.  The sprinklers had been on that morning, and the water had made pool in the dirt road.  The kids started playing in the muddy water, delighting the the patterns the created in the puddles and the feel of the mud between their fingers.  Given they were in their oldest clothes and we were heading straight home after our strawberry picking, I didn’t really care if they got dirty while we waiting for Eric to finish up.

The kids started to dip their feet into the water, and soon both were up to their calves in the mud.  They thought it was great!  They waded into the puddle, running from one side to the other, dragging sticks along the bottom of the puddle and chasing each other in tiny circles.  After they had been at it a few minutes, and were rapidly becoming totally soaked, an elderly man stopped by on his way in to pay for the strawberries.  ”Those yours?” he asked, gesturing to the kids.  I nodded, smiling, ready for a rebuke on how irresponsible I was for letting them get dirty.  He paused for a minute, watching them, and then said quietly “Thank you.  That’s the most beautiful thing I’ve seen all year.”  A few minutes later a woman hurried by, also on her way in to pay.  She stopped short when she saw the kids and started to laugh.  She turned to me and said “Are you their mother?”  I nodded again, not sure what was to come.  ”You are such a great mom!  I want to be that good of a mom.”

Over the next ten minutes, five more people approached me -apparently all unrelated! –  asked me if Bryson and Deliah were my kids and then gave me some kind of compliment on my parenting.  One of them even thanked me for “sharing this beautiful scene.”

Because I let my kids RUN IN THE MUD.

I don’t think I’ve ever gotten that many compliments on my parenting in my LIFE, let alone all in the space of twenty minutes.

I’m really fascinated by this experience, and by the reaction it seemed to bring about in total strangers.   Was it my willingness to let them get really, really dirty that made me such a “great mom” for those twenty minutes?  Was is the fact that it was a sunny day on a country farm and no one was talking on a cell phone?  Are kids just tremendously compelling when laughing and splashing in the mud?

Not my kids.....but the "kids cute in mud" theory seems to hold true!

What do you think?

Oh.  My.  Goodness.

This conference was AMAZING.  It was sponsored by the Massachusetts United Church of Christ office (where it was held) and Griffith Coaching.  Jim Griffith and Paul Nickerson presented, and let me tell you, if you want to know anything about new church starts or re-starts, they know it!  I’m not going to try to explain the information here, but if you’re interested you should totally buy Jim’s book.

One of the things that was most rewarding for me personally in attending this conference was that these people have DONE IT.  They’ve done it personally and they have coached other people to success.  And not just two or three churches – Jim has started 5 churches, and has coached over 1500.  There are people who have started with the dream of a new church and made it a life-giving reality!

To a lot of people I talk to, the work we’re doing in Norton is so unusual they can’t even find the words to express it.  ”A church re-start?  A new kind of church?  A church that is relevant to people where they are today and is doing a series on the Spirituality in Star Wars?  What do you MEAN???”  To Paul and Jim and the other people at this conference, this work is normal and understandable and even has methodology.  A methodology that has been documented!

I have a whole new outlook on conferences.

We liked our adventures without cable.  We found that it was more difficult to “veg out” in front of the TV, and I felt much better about letting our nephew flip the channels when I didn’t think he would come across a gory episode of “Law and Order” at four o’clock in the afternoon.  But surprisingly, there were some things we found we missed.

People say vegging out is a really bad idea.  Sitting aimlessly for hours on end, staring at a screen, not out there experiencing life.  And I have to confess, I agree with that.  I’m not in favor of endless vegging out.  I think that watching excessive T.V. is the root of a lot of problems in our society, and it is not a lifestyle I advocate.  I was recently quoted that the average American watches 7 hours of television a day.  SEVEN HOURS.  That appalled me.  That’s practically an entire workday!  I also recently read that many children get more face time with the television than they do with their family.  That idea makes me sad.

So I’m not a big T.V. advocate, and I’m really in favor of getting out there and experiencing life.  But here’s my big confession – I also believe that some vegging out is actually a good idea.  Having a place to sit down for a half an hour, a couple times a week, when I’m not sleeping and/or accomplishing something can be a real treat.  I enjoy shows that make me laugh.  Sometimes, television shows are interesting.

We reinstated cable a few months ago.  My husband decided that the $12/month savings was not worth missing all the Red Sox games that would be coming on NESN (he’s a huge fan).  I didn’t have a strong opinion one way or the other.  But since we have had cable back, I do notice something nice – there’s a little more laughter in my life.  I have gotten out of my head a few more times in the past few months than I might otherwise have done.  We’ve seen some pointless commercials and some violence that I think was inappropriate.

But I’ve had a few laughs.  

And let me tell you, it’s been quite the adventure.

When you are working with a church re-start, there’s a lot of “typical information” that simply doesn’t exist yet.  Who attends this church?  What is it all about?  When are services?  What is your role in the community?

Boy, those are some good questions.  And this month, the one-year anniversary of my hiring to the First Unitarian Church of Norton, many of these questions are being answered.

Over the past year, I’ve spoken with hundreds of people.  I’ve talked with people who live in Norton and the surrounding towns, students and faculty at Wheaton College, business owners, mothers and fathers, long-time church attenders and people who are spiritual but not religious.  The oldest person I’ve met with who is interested in the church is 81 – the youngest is 13.  Through these conversations I’ve gotten a sense of what people are looking for and what Unitarian Universalism might look like in this place, at this time.

Our website does not answer all of those questions; the vision for this church is still emerging.  And, to be honest, will probably continue to emerge and change as long as this church exists.  Churches have to move and to breathe with the world around them, otherwise we will cease to be meaningful and relevant.

But our website shows a beginning of the vision for this church, at this time, in this place.  And it’s a great vision.  I’m so inspired by the people I’m working with, and by all those who are involved and interested in the First Unitarian Church of Norton re-start.

So go check it out, and share with all your friends!

I’m a bit behind on the news here, but found this bit recently via a friend on Facebook.  I’d heard about the misquoting of the Planned Parenthood stats on the Senate Floor but was unfamiliar with the INSANITY of it all.  Seriously, Senator Kyl?  We jumped from abortions being 3% of all Planned Parenthood’s work to 90% in your estimation?  (If you are unsure what I’m talking about here, I’d strongly recommend watching the above clip.  Both hilarious and informative.)

The most awesome part about all of this is the Senator’s response to when he was called out on huge difference between 3% and 90% and how he made such a tremendous error on the Senate floor.  His response: “It was not intended to be a factual statement.”

I’m really struck by this because among all the words flying out of Washington and talk shows these days, “It was not intended to be a factual statement” is hilariously, depressingly, right on target.  Many of the things we hear are not factual statements when investigated – on both sides of the aisle.  The depressing part is that they are intended to be factual statements.  If Senator John Kyl had never been called out, do you think he ever would have admitted that he had missed the mark on Planned Parenthood by 87%?

Should we expect our politicians to lie?

How can you know when someone is telling the truth?